What is love?

Sometimes I find myself in disbelief that everything has been coming to an end so soon. Sure, I've been excited for college all my life, but it's just a few months away. Sometimes I think about being a kid again- hell, I started watching spongebob the other day out of pure nostalgia.

I was driving home from dance on thursday night, and tried to remember what Liberia Avenue looked like maybe ten years ago, when none of the development even existed there. I couldn't remember. It's so weird, childhood used to seem so clear in my mind. I think I took it for granted, and wanted this year to come desparatly for so long. So I rushed time.

I never ever ever thought I would be where I am today. Struggling to achieve certain test scores that determine my future, always stressed out, and dealing with the every day drama in my life.

Everyday, I think about "what if?".
Like..
What if i took freshmen and sophmore year seriously, and I had a 3.5 gpa now? I'd probably be more mature, and I wouldn't be stuck in the situations I am in now.
Would if I never went to that party?
Would if I just pretended everything was okay?
Would if..it worked?
Would if I gave in?
Would if I gave up?

But then again, I realize these things have all happened for a reason.
It may have taken an enormous toll on my sanity, but I'm getting by. Day by day.
It seems to get stressful and difficult sometimes, but this time i'm trying a little something called optimism. I'm trying my absolute hardest. Not one day goes by that I havn't studied for SATs. I started working out again. I go out more now, and i feel like i'm regaining the life I once had.

So maybe there's no such thing as time travel- I can't go back and fix everything i fucked up. But, I get a chance to do it right this time around, in the future. And I feel like i need to give it everything I have.